Thought Overflow

I was having a conversation with my roommate the other day, and I told him about one more thing I had done that I could cross off my list of things to do before I die. I then mockingly lamented that I’m running out of things, and I have nothing to look forward to living for. With an incredulous look, he asked me if I was serious that I have nothing else left on my “bucket list”.

No, obviously, I wasn’t, but it made me think. What if I made a list, and what if someday I cross everything off it? Am I then prepared to die?

I’m not really afraid of death. As the risk of sounding cheesy, I think it’s quite easy to find something worth dying for. Because death, generally, is a one-time thing. It happens and it’s done, gone, over. Who knows what’s on the other side? And why should we think so much about it now?

The real challenge is to find something worth living for. What makes you wake up in the morning every day? And what happens when that motivation runs out?

For me, personally, I spend my time living in the present. The future, no matter how close, is too far away. I’m shortsighted and I can’t see beyond tomorrow too clearly. And the past—even more so. Maybe it’s fitting that I have such a terrible memory and very easily and quickly forget most things, because it accentuates me being here, now. My bucket list has a hole through which completed items leak out, and I constantly put in more things every few days.