Thought Overflow

I’m spending my summer in a not very well maintained room at one of the boys’ hostels at Wilson College, South Bombay. There is no mess where we get dinner, so all of us go out for dinner to restaurants close by, balancing between expensive and budget places. The former are generally characterised by being air-conditioned, having a nice ambience with good music and well-dressed patrons; the latter, by being moderately crowded, served by waiters who are dressed either in somewhat shabby or no uniforms at all. Occasionally, there are places where the price of the food is not too high, but the taste is good.

There is a restaurant on the road adjacent to the beach which always seems to have a huge line of people waiting to get in, and the clientele appear to be well-off, arriving in big, expensive cars and dressed well. This particular restaurant (called New Yorkers), which we had all assumed to be the expensive kind, has been on our list for quite some time, the crowd of eagerly awaiting customers outside adding to its appeal. There’s a small paan-dabba right outside it which also seems to do brisk business, selling to the diners that emerge from the restaurant after having had their meals. Some distance away, there’s another small place called Bachelor’s, which serves milk-shakes, cream with fruit and ice-cream a short distance away. I don’t know what it is about this place, which is basically a shack on the footpath, but it attracts clients from the highest strata of society. I’ve seen the most expensive cars pull up to have dessert here. The curiosity has had the better of me for quite some time, which put this one also on the aforementioned list.

So, 3 places I had to try out before leaving Mumbai, irrespective of how expensive they are. Yesterday, we tried them all, and here’s the outcome.

New Yorkers turned out to be not that expensive after all, which took me a bit by surprise. We ordered nachos, lasagne and some other Italian dish that I cannot spell to save my life. The nachos arrived first along with a wonderful drink. I was impressed, but the good impression didn’t last too long. The lasagne was terrible. As Hari said, it tasted more like pav-bhaji with some cheese on it. Big let-down. The other Italian dish was ok too, nothing to write home about.

Next, we had the paan. It was, to be perfectly honest, strictly ok. There’s another paan-wallah just up the road that serves a better (and bigger) paan for 2 rupees less. Yes, I know that 2 bucks is not really a big deal, but after all the hype inadvertently generated by the crowd, this was another let-down.

Finally, we had dessert at Bachelor’s—135 rupees for whipped cream with pieces of chocolate in it. Was it good? It was ok. Was it worth the money it cost? Are you freakin’ kidding me! 135 bucks! No freakin’ way! Luckily, Hari switched his mango-cream with me (which, by the way, cost just about the same, give or take 10 bucks). Again, this wasn’t too bad, but I couldn’t understand why people would drive here in their expensive cars to eat this.

What have I learnt from this?

The people of Mumbai have no taste. I mean, seriously. I’ve been hearing a lot about a “budget” restaurant called Crystal, which we haven’t been able to have dinner at because of the lengthy waiting line every day, but I managed to have lunch there the other day, and it was, unsurprisingly, shitty. What’s up, Mumbai? Why are you flocking to places that are strictly mediocre?

Anyway, so that was about that. I know how what gyaan to give juniors who have their summer internship in Mumbai next year: Stay away from all the places that have a big crowd.

Afterword:
Actually, come to think of it…in Mumbai, with its over-population and willingness of people to spend, there are barely any places that do NOT have a crowd. It can get on your nerves sometimes.