An Ode (of sorts) to Long Conversations
Posted on 03 May 2010 under Random
I was out with friends a couple of nights ago, and I had a great time. Normally, I like to live in the moment, preferring to dwell in the ‘here and now’ and leave the thinking and reliving to be done later. The more I pondered about it later, the more I realised that there’s something I am missing, and missing quite a bit – a confidante.
At almost any point in time in the last few years, I’ve had a ‘best friend’, someone special with whom I talked to about my day and everything else that was on my mind, without thinking twice, without worrying about whether what I was saying was right or wrong, politically or otherwise.
I miss that. I miss having someone to just talk to, just like that.
I guess it’s one of the things that just happen as you grow older. It’s so much easier to make friends when you’re a kid, and you have the phone at your disposal. More importantly, you have time at your disposal, unlike now.
Now, life is all about classes and studies and careers, and when it’s not about that, it’s about partying and doing activities to “live life to the fullest”. We have gained maturity, money and experience, but we have lost that time that we would have spent with friends, just talking for hours, uninterrupted.
Isn’t that worth thinking about?
* * *
I apologise for my prolonged absence from the blog. I have been without internet access, and apart from that, majority of my time has been being taken up by my internship work (which is how it should be, shouldn’t it?)
Sorry to sound a warning. It gets even worse after you get a job. Hard to find real friends at work and impossible to speak your mind (if you want to keep the job).
Thank you, Anirban. Your encouragement and optimism are just what I need at this point, when I am looking forward to starting my career.
Yes, I know about it getting worse. I’ll just have to pull up my socks and do what’s required, I guess.
Confidantes are a direct result of prolonged faith as well.. Did you lose it somewhere down the line?
That’s a good question. I would have said that I think I have made it harder for people to break down my inner shell, but I really don’t think so. I think I have just become a little more cynical.
Would that mean you have an outer shell as well?
Tough nut to crack
Don’t we all?
My pleasure. Always happy to provide unsolicited advice.
Hmmm.. not all.. I just have one shell to crack. Dont know whether it is the inner or the outer one.
I dont somehow understand the concept of breaking shells. How doe s it matter when it comes to making confidantes?
I re-get the images of the things you told me about your life on the jlt stairs!
life eej hard! funny how we all think like this but none can help each other!
strange!
@Anirban,
Don’t we all?
@Anamika,
I don’t know about everyone, but unless I can trust someone blindly, I wouldn’t call them a confidante. And I can only trust someone so much when I feel comfortable with sharing things with them and know they won’t judge me too much, etc. etc. So, like everyone else, I build up these walls, a fortitude against my innermost secrets. The outer shell is the basic level of protection, the kind of filter you use when you’re communicating with strangers and you don’t want to tell them things you would tell only your friends.
The inner shell, if one exists, is kind of like the final frontier (wow, look at all the nerd/geek slang
). It’s the point at which you can tell someone everything about you, including the things you regret most, your deepest secrets and insecurities, etc.
@Varun,
Yep.
The longest reply goes to a girl, YET AGAIN!! sudhar ja saale!!
1. What do you mean “YET AGAIN”?
2. She asked an intellectually stimulating question that deserved a response carefully crafted after due consideration and analysis.
3. She’s a girl.
4. I’m a guy.
5. Life is unfair. Deal with it.
6. If it makes you happy, you’re getting a reply in the form of a list. And you’re a guy. See what I’m willing to do for our friendship?