Thought Overflow

Formula 1 is a circus, yes. But did you know it can also be a rollercoaster ride of emotions? Yesterday, when I started watching Qualifying, I learnt that Schumacher had been given a 2-second penalty for some reason, and so, 2 seconds will be added to his fastest lap time in each qualifying round. I was shocked, hurt, upset… Then, I saw Alonso not really putting his heart into his qualifying, and later learnt that he too was being given a 2-second penalty! YAAAY, Schumacher was starting at a better position than Alonso, and Massa was starting at a waaay better position than Fisichella! AWESOME! Moving on to Sunday…
The race started in unexpected wet conditions… In the opening half of the first lap, Schumi overtook a bunch of people. But that was expected of Schumi… wet weather, awesome starter, etc etc… That was the first “YES!” of the race. Then, in the second half of the very same (first) lap, Alonso broke loose and overtook a bigger bunch of people… including… (hold your breath)… SCHUMACHER! WAAAAAAA! And hence, the first “NO!” of the race.

After that, to be honest, I just kinda lost interest in the race because Schumacher just seemed to be sliding downwards and Alonso, upwards. Towards the middle, when Alonso started leading, I just flipped channels to watch VH1. Then, I switched back to the race to see that Raikkonnen had somehow crashed out. I was watching to see if they’d show a replay, but all I got to see were a couple of laps with the Safety Car leading the race. Then, all of a sudden, Alonso was in and out of the pits… and the most beautiful thing happened… Alonso’s car back-stabbed him! The right rear tyre’s nut(s) (no pun intended) fell off, and it just collapsed. WHEEE!!! I was so happy, I blew my voice shouting “YES!” repeatedly (probably comparable to an orgasmic woman who hasn’t seen action in years… but then again, I wouldn’t know)… WOOHOO!

After that, it was all good… It didn’t matter whether Schumacher finished 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th, he’d get a lot of points over Alonso! La-dee-dah and a HOOPLAH! WAPAPAPAPA! DING DONG (and other such happy baby babble that we babble when extremely happy). It was also nice to see Mr.Unlucky (Jenson Button) heading towards his first well-deserved F1 victory. All good… everything was alright with the world. The rain was just the right temperate, the sky was just the perfect grey, I was of the perfect height, weight and body temperature

3 laps to go, and I was growing slightly concerned about Pedro de la Rosa passing Schumi, and even Quick Nick (Heidfeld) closing up incredibly fast on Schumi. But then again, that was to be expected from the intermediate tyres on Schumi’s car, in the drying road. But then again, even a 4th place finish would be awesome… but alas! It wasn’t meant to be! Life has proven once again that it is indeed a bitch… with rabies! Suddenly, Schumacher was challenged by Dick Nick (note: change from “Quick Nick” to “Dick Nick” is on purpose), and suddenly, for a split second, Schumi ran off the road, and in the next couple of seconds, is limping home! NOOOOOO!!!!!!! My whole world came crashing down! Suddenly, Formula 1′s big “F’ seemed to mean “f***off”. Suddenly, the TV was a monstrosity! Suddenly, … forget it… it’s too difficult to put into words… words have failed me, F1 has failed me… life has failed me (as usual)… yay.

—– the end —–

PS: Almost forgot to mention… The Hondas did extremely well. Baby Button won his first F1 GP. He clearly deserved it. Good on him! Pedro de la Rosa (McLaren) did very well to finish second , good job by him too. And Dick Nick finished third (no comment). Barichella (Honda) finished 4th, which makes it a very good outing both for him and for Honda.

—– the (real) end —–