Thought Overflow

It’s 9:33 AM on what appears from this side of the semi-darkened window to be an overcast Friday morning. I’ve been looking forward to stepping foot in XLRI for weeks now—ever since I got a confirmed offer of admission. It represents so many things to me—freedom being among the top on the list. Change/maturity is next, I guess.

I’m listening to Limp Bizkit’s “Rearranged”. Limp Bizkit is one of those bands that shows flashes of brilliance in its work amidst a general sense of mediocrity. If I had to be honest, I’d say that I’m pretty similar—the occasional flash of brilliance is generally padded by periods of mediocrity by my own standards. I wonder how, if at all, XLRI is going to re-arrange my life, my psyche. I’ve had people say that being in XLRI will change the person I am. I will apparently graduate two years later as a completely different person. I don’t doubt it. This being my first time living away from home, I guess there will be a lot to learn, quickly. The lessons learnt in the class will be easily matched, if not a tad overshadowed, by those learnt outside.

And this is what I expect to get out of XLRI. Even before I step in, I’m imagining what it will be like when I’m ready to step out. It’s exciting and thriling, and at the same time, scary and unnerving. Some of the challenges I’m to face over the next two years may be challenges that I have come nowhere close to facing so far. But that’s what leaning through experience is all about, isn’t it?

I continue to stare out of the window while Faith No More’s melodic masterpiece “Stripsearch” plays on the MP3 player.

Well, here I am. More than halfway to Jamshedpur. I guess it’s more than certainty now…XLRI, get ready, here I come!

Originally written on 12-Jun-2009

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For the last couple of months (almost), I’ve been living along at home with my sister, while mum’s been in Kenya with dad. She’s coming back early on Tuesday morning, and I absolutely cannot wait for her to return.

You hear a lot about how motherhood and running a house is harder than it looks. But it’s only when you experience it first-hand that you realize how potent that simple statement really is. I cannot tell you how unashamedly happy I am that mum’s coming back. For the past few days, I’ve been to hell and back. Let me take you on a guided tour.

• The maid-cum-cook left abruptly, without so much as a warning. Perhaps you may not realize the depth of the problem here…this is the woman who does all the work around the house, from dusting to sweeping/mopping and washing clothes, and cooks our meals as well. So that means that if she goes, there’s no one to wash clothes, dishes, cook meals or clean the house.
• The fridge stopped working. The repairman charged Rs. 2100/- to replace the microprocessor, which stopped working again. After making about three visits, he diagnosed that the problem is with the electrical wiring in the kitchen (low voltage or something), and he can’t fix it. Because of the elections’ results declaration yesterday, I haven’t been able to get someone to come fix the electrical problems in the kitchen just yet. Looks like people don’t really care much about their governments except on the days they get a holiday to vote, or get a holiday to celebrate the result.
• The house is messy, smelly and hot. Really hot, especially considering that the bloody new building next door has effectively cut off the path that would have been taken by wind for cross-ventilation. Not fun. We’re living in an oven…a messy one.

There are certain other things that I can’t really mention on the blog, but I can tell you that I’m not embarassed to admit…I WANT MY MOMMY!!

Oh, and I’m hell glad she’s soon going to be on her way here, and when I pick her up at the airport (if he lets me come to airport) or at the airport shuttle drop-off point (about a couple of kilometers from home), I’m going to hug her like she just saved my life. I don’t know about my life, but I can tell you one thing…she’s certainly saved my mind. I’d have fast been on the path to insanity. The only thing that’s kept me going for about a week or so now is the fact that she’s going to be here soon.

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The Best:

If you’re playing a good game, you’ll enjoy it a lot…a hell lot. It gives you something to do when you don’t have anything else to do. In fact, it gives you something to do even if you have something else that needs to be done first! (Ok, admittedly, that’s not a good thing for your career or academic life, but it’s a good thing for enjoyment.)

The Worst:

All games end. And with them, so does the experience. I must probably have mentioned before how the experience of a good game remains with me for some time even after finishing the game, giving you something to think about when you otherwise might have got bored. But I suppose it’s a good thing that games end. You cannot go on playing a game you like forever. You will get bored of it, and then you cannot think back on it and sigh in contentment at having played it…like I do now when I think of games like “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” or “Bioshock“.

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Every coin has two sides.

I don’t know how many times I’ve used this statement in debates, essays and posts in general. It’s really rather true, isn’t it? No matter what situation, person, thing or circumstance you look at, it’s always interesting to find the other side of the coin.

So, I was chatting with a good friend from school whom I recently got back in touch with. She told me today of how she’s managed to keep in touch with quite a few of our friends from school whom I seem to have left behind in the sands of time. How’s she managed to do it? Orkut.

Yeah, you read it right…Orkut.

It really made me a little jealous for a bit, making me think about how I have been posting about the evils of social networking websites, while others have been making hay while the sun shines, keeping in touch with old friends, finding new ones, etc. Heck, even the new admissions into the various top-rated B-schools that a starry-eyed me is looking to join have formed communities on Orkut to get to know each other even before they have officially become students of these colleges.

That’s the other side of the coin, folks. If you can get past the odd (and completely useless) display names people keep for themselves on Orkut (and forever in G Talk, as a result) and the annoying chain mails/messages that everyone loves to forward, Orkut really can do some good.

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My last post was more than a month ago. I know I keep writing every now and again that I should write more regularly, and every now and again, I think of something post-worthy. Then, I think about how it’s not worth it.

Not worth it? But it’s friggin’ blog, man! Anything is worth it. Who even reads this blog, eh?

Anyway, there have been some updates. I’ve been city-hopping in my quest to get admitted into a B-school. I’ve got a couple more to go. I’d post some more thoughts, candidly, but I’m really not in the mood for it right now. Rest assured that the future doesn’t look stunningly bright at the moment…dammit.

Well, anyway…I’m still alive. I guess that’s what counts more than anything else, eh?

PS: I need to find a new game that’s stunning immersive. Suggestions?

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I’ve been playing Fallout 3 lately; it’s probably the first RPG that I’ve played seriously. I mean, I’ve tried World of Warcraft, but I much preferred Counter-Strike and other shooters. However, there’s something to be said about Fallout 3. The fact that it makes me want to reconsider my decision to stay away from RPG probably speaks about how good it is. Yet, it makes me wonder…should we not perhaps classify it as “Action-RPG”, considering the solid action/combat mechanics of the game?

Whatever it is, let’s not forget one thing. I’ve always loved games with a solid storyline; it gives the game a reason to be played. Maybe that’s why I preferred Max Payne to Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne. The sequel, despite its very intriguing title, had an oversimplified, seemingly cheaply strung together story. Anyway, back to Fallout 3. The main storyline for Fallout 3 is not bad nor is it particularly amazing (a couple of games that immediately springs to mind for outstanding story is Bioshock and Prince of Persia: Sands of Time) but what makes it even better is how much the story revolves around the player’s decisions. There’s always an element of “What if…” involved, which makes you want to either quicksave and quickload before every dialogue to see how each decision pans out, or to replay the game with a different character.

And while we’re on the topic of character, I think it’s one of Fallout 3’s greatest strengths that it allows you to shape your character. Having read some of the reviews and guides, I’d been advised not to spread my skill points out too wide across the spectrum, and to focus more on the skills that would benefit my character, which is exactly what I did. It makes things a lot more fun because you’re capable of doing things that you ought to be able to do, rather than unnecessarily raising skills for things you might avoid doing, like using explosives or big guns.

Having finished about two-thirds of the main storyline and numerous side-quests, I can safely say that majority of the game is probably behind me, but I’m yet to discover quite a few locations, and I can’t wait to reach Level 20, at which point I’ll be taking the “Explorer” perk, which marks out all locations on my map. More importantly, I can’t wait to finish this off, and start a new game, this time as an evil, sneaky character, quite unlike the one I’m playing right now.

What else have I got in mind? Well, I think I’ll look more into some RPGs now. I noticed that a couple of RPG games have got really good scores… Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is one of them. I’m also thinking about Neverwinter Nights, though that one released about six years ago. And then, there’s Dead Space, which looks quite interesting too… Hmm… choices, choices!

Cheers!

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Most of us are at least aware, if not outright concerned, about the kind of people we are. We strive to be good, to live up to at least our own, if not others’, expectations of a good-natured person. Every now and then, life presents us with choices that make you wonder what you should do. Often, the choice arrives in the form of a decision to make regarding action to be taken in response to something that someone else has done that might have irritated or angered you.

On the one hand, you can ignore it, or explain the situation politely to them and hope they’ll change. You don’t want to come down to their level by doing the same to them. This action may work on decent folk, and it certainly appears to make sense when you’re trying very hard to live up to your principles/ideals. It is also probably a very constructive solution. However, it often leaves you seething in rage for quite some time.

The second option is to return the favour with a very “tit for tat” attitude. Give them a taste of their own medicine. This could very possibly show them a little more clearly how irritating their actions are, and could be a much more effective way of making them realize how irritating or anger-inducing their actions were. However, the problem here is that not only are you lowering yourself to their level, but also you’re not quite trying to reach a constructive solution. This could end up making the situation worse if your opponent becomes defensive. However, in a lot of cases, it provides a degree of immediate gratification.

Now that we have examined both options, albeit at a very superficial level, I’d like to mention that I don’t think there is one right way to deal with situations. For one thing, each situation is unique and demands a unique solution. For another, it would make sense to use a little bit of both solutions. The idea is not to have to stoop to too low a level, but yet to stand up for yourself and not be trod on.

And so, dear reader, you’ve reached the end of another boring post.
Thanks for reading, and have a nice day.

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I read a report quite recently about rumours linking a possible Fernando Alonso move to Ferrari. I remember how I used to feel about the man who not only dethroned Michael Schumacher from the World Championship, but also prevented him from winning the World Championship in his final F1 season. In one simple, possibly slightly exaggerated word, I hated him. Well, it’s but natural, wouldn’t you say? Here I am, a hardcore Ferrari supporter, a big fan of Schumacher, and along comes a rookie who not only takes the fight to Schumacher, but also refuses to respect the legend of the man. However, times are a-changing.

Let’s add another factor to the equation. Last season, Lewis Hamilton (of McLaren) took the World Championship on the very last turn of the very last race of the season, breaking my heart. Ferrari’s Brazilian driver Felipe Massa looked like he had won, just to be shot down at the very end. One moment I was dancing in jubilation, and the next, I was walking to bed dejected. Now I can’t wait to see Lewis Hamilton dethroned.

At this point, a question begs asking—why did I support Massa more than the then reigning champion Kimi Raikkonen (of Ferrari)? Simply put, I’ve always felt inclined to support drivers who have a good attitude, and are loved by their team. I would probably very quickly admit that Kimi is faster than Felipe, but I’d say that Felipe has much more passion and much more heart for his sport. It’s well-known that he is the more loved of the two drivers among the team as well. How does this affect my opinions and thoughts now, and in the near future?

For one thing, I think I wouldn’t mind seeing Alonso in red Ferrari colours. After about two years in near oblivion, he’s matured as a person, and his dislike for Hamilton resonates strongly with me. Also, I’ve always maintained that while Kimi Raikkonen might be the faster of the two, I’d rate Alonso as a better driver. The question then would be who to replace at Ferrari. I’d love to see Massa remain at Ferrari, because I really think he deserves a World Championship, and getting there with Ferrari would be awesome. And yet, at the same time, I think that if you can get Kimi Raikkonen riled up and rearing to go, he can be quite hard to stop. Perhaps there should be no change this season (and I’m sure there won’t be). By the end of this season (or perhaps the next), it would be a good time to decide if, with all the cost-cutting and all the limitations, F1 is still worth watching, and if so, which drivers are deserving of a seat at Ferrari.

As for this season, go RED!

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I was reading an article which appeared in the newspaper a few days ago, about how there are now a million Indian bloggers. I’m not sure how they arrived at this statistic, but I reckon it roughly translates to about 1 in every 100 people having a blog. Not too bad a statistic, considering that only about 5% of the population in India uses the internet. That means that statistically, there is an average of one blogger out of every five internet users in India.

The next question, I guess, is how many people read these blogs. There is probably no way to get a more or less accurate statistical picture. I know for a fact that celebrities’ blogs (like Aamir Khan’s and Amitabh Bachchan’s blogs) receive thousands of comments per post, but for the average blogger like me, with nothing important to blog about, one would be lucky to receive the one odd comment every now and then. So why blog?

For some people, it’s a great outlet of expression. For many others, it’s just an online journal to chronicle their ordinary lives, and let friends and family take a peek if they want to. For many others, the idea that they’re putting down feelings, thoughts and opinions on a public domain like the internet where someone (anyone) might read them and respond is an exciting prospect.

I do it because I like the idea of blogging. I like putting my opinions and thoughts down in words. I like writing, and I’d like to think of myself as a good enough writer with a lot of potential to improve. How do I improve? Simply by writing more. The more I write, the better I get at expressing myself. Do I get a lot of readers? Actually, no. What drives me is very simply the idea of an invisible audience. Every blog post can be metaphorized as a stage performance; I am the director, and my words and sentences are the actors. The parts they play are in my hands, and the readers of my posts are an audience. A faceless, nameless group of people…quite probably, imaginary. I know of very few people who read my blog regularly, and of even fewer who bother to comment. Where, then, is this invisible audience? I don’t know, but I can tell you it doesn’t matter. When I write, I like thinking that someone’s going to read, because that’s what drives me to write better.

To the one million Indian bloggers, cheers; and to the invisible audience to which this blog is dedicated, I tip my metaphorical hat in appreciation.

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Welcome to the jungle, for the jungle lies not outside the boundaries of civilization, but within.

Let me start this post by first wishing Happy Sankranti/Pongal to everyone who celebrates it, and my sincerest hope that you all wake up with not too much of a hangover tomorrow morning. And now, with that out of the way, let’s return to the jungle analogy.

I realize I haven’t updated my blog in a long time, so it’s quite possible that though some of you may know, others may not, that there’s a building under construction right next door. That means that they have the goodwill to wake me up early almost every morning…of course, it’s of little significance to them whether I want to be woken up or not. The municipal corporation of Hyderabad have disallowed trucks and other heavy vehicles to ply on city roads during the daytime, due to which the cement and sand trucks start piling up early morning. Often, I’ve noticed that the labourers love to do their “bang-bang” early in the morning, and then after a while, they go silent. It’s quite intriguing…almost as if they nod to themselves after a while of making noise, saying “Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’ve disrupted his sleep well and proper now…he’s not going to go back to bed. Job done for the day. Good work, guys!”

I’ve made a post about Sankranti before (do look for it, it’s quite enlightening on how it’s “celebrated” here). However, I think it deserves another mention, even if just a fleeting one. So, we have the loud-speakers, the rustic yelling, etc. Last evening, I believe the neighbours were testing their loud-speakers, and the speakers were anything if not really, really loud. The music blaring out of them was loud enough to drown out the conversations we were trying to have inside our house. I suppose it’s one of the disadvantages of living on the second floor—the compound walls aren’t high enough to block out external sounds.

The jungle is a place of survival. Animals care for no one but themselves, civilization and civility is an unknown concept. These past few weeks have made me wonder just how junglee are the people I share this city with, hmm?

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